he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
