what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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