i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
