they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
