Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
