Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
