i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize