i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
