did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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