doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
