shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
