She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
