She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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