just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
