I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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