stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
