Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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