she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
