Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize