Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
