so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
