Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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