Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize