Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
