why didn't you poke me back
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He passed out mid-signature
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
