we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
