I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
