id be glad to
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
is that a dick in a sweater?
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