i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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