he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
