ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
