saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
