if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
