Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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