i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish you could order shots online.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
