We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize