hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
