Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
