Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize