You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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