Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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