WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
id be glad to
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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