It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
