you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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