dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
