I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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