I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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