TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
