Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
