brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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