i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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