why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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