You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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