Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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