looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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