all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This baby is an asshole
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
