In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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