So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
