Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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