Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
