So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
