you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
