That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
